So the story that started it all.
I was just 3 and a half years old, my family had just moved to a new house in a new town. We decided one day to get a cat, a very special cat who is still in my life (yes, believe). I found myself on a sunny farm one day. We went to see a new liter, the mom & her babies. They were all orange little squishballs of perfection. I was so excited to finally be getting a cat, a living animal, because i was tired of playing with my baby dolls, who although i used to love to play with them, had been leaving me feeling a little wanting lately, as they felt "empty" to me, and i wished i had something more like a real baby to practice on, that responded to me and had real life force inside of it. So when i found out about the cat, of course i wanted a girl so she could be my baby doll.
So i go out with this in my mind and mind you i'm only 3 & a half, so tantrums still being a thing. 😅 I had my mind set on getting a girl, i didn't imagine it any other way.
My family, brother, sister, dad, mom.... and I peer down into the little pen. I want this one, look at that one,
OHH! Look at that one!
The cutest one ever!
WOW the best one there is
That one is _______
Oh my goodness, so _____
My whole family suddenly started exploding, using words i can't quite recall to describe what sounded like an absolute gem. I mean the baddest baddies of cats, but in the purest, most delightful gift-from-god way.
I looked around, where, where was this amazing creature?
My face fell.
THAT one? I looked up at my family, my jaw dropped,... that one?
You seriously are all talking about HIM?!
There was a boy right amongst the pack, lying amongst his brothers and sisters who were innocently and sweetly trying to nap, or nurse. Kicking the living shit out of them. He had these big rabbit feet, just swinging and kicking. He looked like he knew what he was doing. Kicking the shit out of his mom as well, the poor creature only managed to birth and nurse him, and he had the nerve to kick her?!
Oh no i thought.
Oh no, no no.... this is going very wrong.
I wanted a docile creature to nurse and rock. This guy was from a different planet. 😂 Literally.
we go to grab the cat and start walking towards the car again, a voice suddenly SCREAMS out from the sky "Get that cat! Don't leave without The Cat! YOU CAN'T -DO- IT WITHOUT THE CAT! He's a KING!!!"
i looked around, into the direction in the sky the voice had come from. It sounded like someone used a speaker phone from the sky. In my mind's eye i suddenly saw a ship.... A basic round, silver, circular UAP.
Inside was a man. He sat on a basic, humble, wooden throne with no carvings or etchings. Two men stood on either side, flanking him as if for duty. A white blanket covered him.
I understood instantly why the blanket covered him. It was the highest form of respect and all they could do for him. His body was burned, red, charred.... A tragedy so deep i was immediately paralyzed & forever changed,... but i understood how much PRIDE was in this entire situation. This man had brought the world to it's knees. That's all this could mean. He was obviously a King himself, having seated on the throne. I knew he was coming from the future. Or should i say "them". I so focus on only this man..... "That's my husband." I thought. Could it be... A King that had brought the World to it's knees? A world of criminality, depravity, and torture hidden amongst its ranks? A world of rare jewels and innocence living precariously and half-heartedly amongst all those said things that could happen to a person. My mind raced.
To stand out in this world like this, to attract this kind of attention. To live safe in this world, you must keep your head down. And even then there are no guarantees. But this. To stand out like such a blazing torch of anti-conformity to the old ways.... could you really do it? Could you really walk this path? I was 3 and a half years old. I saw what was my destiny, and being asked of me, and was possible my future. This King... IS my husband. My heart broke. I never, in all my years, felt such sadness. I couldn't bear to see him, yet i couldn't look away cause i yearned and i loved him so... the yearning was unimaginable. So was the feeling of agony over his loss & his state of being at this time, having won the battle of the Earth. Here is an excerpt a dear friend wrote,
The fallen god's chariot ride is actually a metaphor for his internal experience, a nostalgic recollection of flight, fueled by his vivid imagination. The loss of his physical sight and wings as he burned entering and in reality creating the carbonised plane of existence called Earth.. only amplifies his reliance on the faculty of imagination, which ultimately gives rise to the manifestation of infinite forms of manifest reality. ...Hathor's gentle gesture as a soothing balm stroking his back where once wings had been... Soothes the solar gods emotional and physical pain..(right hemisphere to left hemisphere interaction) ....inside the chariot he begins to imagine he can fly once again and relives the Golden Age once more within Gan Keshet (cerebrospinal centre).
It's a poignant tale of rebellion and self-sacrifice... The notion that the fallen angel or solar Gods..defiance was motivated by a desire to aid humanity rather than defy God as the central energy challenges traditional notions of his character. The imagery of God weeping over the fallen angel's fate suggests a deep sense of sorrow and regret, underscoring the magnitude of the fallen angel's sacrifice.
(Central fountain)
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